bummed

i want to be an art therapist. right now. or at the very least i want to paint with my boys and make cool stuff out of random things. i’m tired of feeling ineffective and watching them fight because they’re bored. i know they fight for other reasons too but the boredom plays a big factor. i’m amazed at how many of them tell me that they need a job or something to do with their hands. they know that they need to be kept busy and we’re doing nothing to help. idle hands…
the fighting is wearing me down. i have become accustomed to it. my spirit drops into my shoes and my stride slows. i just feel heavy and dejected. case management just feels like bullshit sometimes. like i’ve pulled up a chair alongside an unfolding drama. and take notes. NOTES?! what the hell is that going to do? certainly not change anything. not make anything better. it just proves you were there. and that you did nothing.