i stopped fighting it. everything. i have a tendency to get very fired up over things that aren’t fair. the general unfairness of the world. i focus on it and throw futile energy at it. i guess this is part of my nature and why i’m called to the social services. perceived injustices and what not. while it is a good thing professionally, this drive to right the wrongs is hell on the nerves.
a few days ago another injustice flared up in my face and i did my usual anger,sadness,depression,etc. i wracked my brain for ways to fix this or at least make it better. i finally came to the conclusion that there was nothing i could do. NOTHING I COULD DO. what a helpless position to be in. what a liberating position to be in. there was nothing i could do. i could stop trying. what do the alcoholics say? let go and let god. my whole body relaxed as i realized i could stop fighting and focus my energy on the things that mattered. things are going to come up. problems will arise. and i will deal with them as they do. to the best of my ability. but i cannot do anything beyond that.
- God, grant me the serenity
- To accept the things I cannot change;
- The courage to change the things that I can;
- And the wisdom to know the difference.
