i am becoming my grandfather. or at least finding a connection and an understanding that i never had when he was alive. this connection goes much deeper than your typical grandpa/granddaughter love. it is so much more than having his wit and dry sense of humor. it is…the weather channel.
we used to make fun of him for it(in the nicest way possible). the weather channel was omnipresent. anytime we visited my grandparents we could count on two things: the smell of coffee wafting from the kitchen and the smooth jazzy refrain of the five day forecast. i thought it was the most boring,lamest, most old person-est thing in the world. how in the hell could you watch the same thing hour after hour? let alone THE WEATHER?! but these days i am finding a strange comfort in it. kahlil gibran says:
“You work that you may keep pace with the earth and the soul of the earth.
For to be idle is to become a stranger unto the seasons,
and to step out of life’s procession, that marches in majesty and proud submission towards the infinite.”
i have become a stranger to the seasons. i sat oblivious in my cocoon as the leaves began to change and fall. everyone moved forward and i sat stagnate and immobile. i have nothing to contribute to conversations that does not have to do with what i have seen on tv or read on the internet. that tenuous thread connecting me to the outside world has been worn to almost nothing. ah but there is that one topic of conversation that has been connecting human to human for thousands of years. the go-to ice breaker. the most surface of exchange: the weather. if it’s raining, if it’s sunny- this is a shared experience. i am not alone. i am joining in. it is common ground and for three minutes of conversation we are connected. i have found myself reaching out to friends i have known for over a decade with words that are fit for an acquaintance in an elevator. “Might snow today.” “it’s supposed to be pretty tomorrow.” i feel the lameness in these words.i find myself marching out of rhythm and just desperately trying to keep a foot in life’s procession.
